Thursday, May 17, 2012

Injury-prone Hopkins proves natural fit for high-profile out-of-industry sponsor

The news that Superbike and sometime-MotoGP star John Hopkins will race at the upcoming Miller Motorsport Park SBK round on painkillers, and an ominous 'tweet' from @JHopper21 that suggests his hip injury may be a lot worse than we'd hoped all ads up to more of the same news from the Hopper. The guy spends more time in the hospital than he does at home.

That's bad news for most sponsors, who pay to have Hopkins on the track, and hopefully, flashing his pearly whites at their PR events.

But it appeals to his latest sponsor, for which both his name and his injury-prone habits fit perfectly...

Yes, he's just signed a sponsorship deal with Johns-Hopkins Medicine, the best and most famous hospital in the U.S.

"I get all kinds of sponsorship offers, from people who don't want to spend money but want me to use their stuff," Hopkins told Backmarker in an exclusive interview. "But really, how many helmets can I use? And, like, do you have any idea what a gallon of Monster a day will do to your kidneys? But hospital care's a different story; for me, that's as good as cash. I'm pumped to begin using Johns-Hopkins as soon as possible. I don't even have to crash again, since I've got so much old damage they can go right to work on."

Eugenia Marx, the spokesperson for the famed Baltimore institution, said, "It's a slam dunk -- oops, sorry for that stick-and-ball metaphor -- but I mean, what could be more natural that Johns-Hopkins sponsoring John Hopkins? Everyone here is eager to get to work, trying out new medical procedures on 'Hopper's' creative new injuries. I mean, how often do you get to see bone chips in a hip joint? We didn't even know that injury was possible until John came along."

Hopkins' agent, Bob Moore, said "We're pumped by this new sponsorship. As you know, the whole motorcycle racing industry loves to see non-endemic sponsors come into the sport, and we're proud to have brought in one of the most respected brand names in the U.S."

"Now that I know I'm backed by America's top hospital," Hopper told Backmarker, "I'm going to ride even more recklessly than before!"
"Holy Crap! This guy's got injuries on his injuries!" Careful Doc, that's your new poster boy...


  1. Dude. Pretty soon, no one's going to believe ANYTHING you have to say. Then, the only thing you'll be qualified to do is be a politician.