Monday, August 22, 2011

I guess it was inevitable I'd wake up to this, someday...

Some fucking dumbass smashed the ignition of the Triumph open last night and tried to hotwire it. This morning, it was on its side, with broken clutch and shift levers to boot.

The thief's tools, a bent screwdriver and cheap set of channel-lock pliers, were on the ground.

It occurs to me to wonder, is this the shittiest bike anyone's ever tried to steal? Since the fuel petcock sells for $125, I don't want to learn what a new ignition will cost. And talk about a fussy, frustrating repair to make. I guess if I have any consolation, it's that it didn't happen on a morning I was leaving at 0430h to go to work.

The eerie thing is, I got up in the middle of the night to piss, and without my glasses on I peered out the window towards the bikes and thought, 'Some night I'm bound to look out and see someone moving around out there.'

My next thought was, I really should have a rifle handy...


  1. That sucks man. Sounds like a kid though, leaving the tools behind.

  2. I woulda' known how old he was, approximately, if I'd'a shot 'im. (Insert SFX of me spitting on ground here.)

  3. bummer... maybe they were going for your sparkplugs? :D

  4. Bastards.......castration is too good for the scum.

  5. Crap. Need a disc lock? How about one that has an alarm so loud it makes your ears bleed? Send me an email.

  6. Bad enough the asshole tried to steal your ride. Then when he couldn't he had to up the douchebaggery to a whole 'nother level by knocking the bike over. May this individual wake up one morning with a horny, rabid, syphilitic rhinoceros forcibly putting the bugger to him...